Vegan SnackGasm

Thanks to the Google Chefs, who for 9 years have fed me well. This is one of my favorite snack recipes from the Goog kitchen - it's 5 ingredients, 1 minute, and so tasty. Vegan too.

Ingredients:
1 cup of sesame tahini
1/4 cup honey
sea salt to taste
1/2 teaspoon of sesame seeds
sliced apples

Preparation:
Mix tahini, honey, salt, and sesame seeds together. Dip apples and enjoy.

Best Brisket Ever

O Hanukkah, the festival of meat. Tonight we celebrated in an exceptional way - all gathered around the Hanukkah tree eating brisket and latkes, fire roaring, children opening presents. It was like a Rockwellberg painting. My brisket came out exceptional and I was totally winging it. Here's what I did:

Ingredients:

1 3-4 lb brisket

liberal amounts of salt and pepper

2 onions, sliced

3 carrots, peeled and cut into big chunks

3 parsnips peeled and cut into chunks

2 cloves of garlic

3 sprigs of fresh thyme

1 cup of red wine

3 cups of chicken stock

1 small can of tomato paste

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 350. Salt and pepper both sides of the brisket big time. Meat loves salt. In a dutch oven or cast iron pot, heat a good amount of olive oil and brown the brisket starting fat side down. Brown both sides, for about 3-4 minutes per side to seal in the juicy juices. Transfer to a plate. Keep the fat going and saute the onions. When onions are cooked, deglaze the pan with the wine and cook for a minute, scraping the bottom of the pan for the yummy bits. Add chicken stock, garlic (whole cloves), thyme, tomato paste and cook for a minute or two until everything is combined. Add back in the brisket. The brisket should be almost submerged in liquid. If it's not, add more chicken stock. Plop the lid on the pot and put it in the oven for 1.5 hours at 350. Then, add the carrots and parsnips and cook for another 1.5 hours at 250. Total cooking time 3 hours. Let the brisket sit in the pot to rest for a while. When you are ready to eat, slice up and serve with lots of the gravy on top. Use potato latkes to sop up the juices. Plenty of red wine down the gullet too. Heaven. Mazel. Tov.

Salmon Nori Rolls with Nut "Rice" and Carrot Ginger Dipping Sauce

Ok, so Thanksgiving was amazingly fun. 25 relatives, 3 days of cooking, and 3567 lbs of butter later, I'm a fat ass again. So, this week I started a bit of a food cleanse. I'm following this crazy crackpot Dr. Junger's "Elmination Diet" which means I'm not eating wheat, dairy, sugar, coffee. Good times. Actually, I'm feeling fantastic but it takes a lot of planning to get something decent to eat. Here was today's yummy lunch!

Ingredients:

1 cup soaked sunflower seeds

1 cup walnuts, soaked in pure water for 2 hours

1/4 red onion, chopped

1 clove garlic

1 packet of nori wraps

1/2 avocado, sliced thin

1 scallion sliced lengthwise

1 6 oz wild salmon fillet - pan seared

1 large carrot, peeled and chopped

1 shallot peeled and chopped

2 T fresh grated ginger

1 T white miso

2 T rice wine vinegar

1 T sesame seed oil

1/4 cup grapeseed oil

2 T water

Procedure:

To make the nut "rice" for the nori rolls - put soaked nuts, onion, and garlic into a food processor and grind until the mixture is almost a nutty paste. Take your nori wraps and schmeer 1/4 of the nut "rice" on top. Layer on your seared salmon, sliced avocado, and sliced scallion. You can add anything you like really...finely chopped carrot, sprouts, whatevz. Roll up the nori wrap and cut into pieces. Using a sharp knife helps. On to the dipping sauce.....put the carrot, shallot, and ginger into the food processor and blend. Add the miso, vinegar, and sesame seed oil. Blend. Finally drizzle in the grapeseed oil and water. Take nori roll and dip into dressing. YUM.

PS: While the nut "rice" had a great consistency and was quite tasty, you can easily substitute brown rice which is easier to make and almost as healthy.

Spinach, Quinoa, Roasted Tomatoes, and Feta Salad

Shout out to my friend Jodi who opened my eyes to Qunioa in a salad. Quinoa is a fantastically healthy whole grain that adds depth and tooth to any salad.

Ingredients:

2 cups cherry tomatoes - tossed with olive oil and salt and roasted for 20 minutes at 450 degrees.

4 cups of baby spinach leaves

1/4 cup feta cheese

1 cup of cooked quinoa

Dressing:

1 T balsamic vinegar

1 teaspoon dijon mustard

1/2 teaspoon minced garlic (or 1 clove)

4 T olive oil

Preparation:

Follow directions on quinoa package and make it. Should only take about 20 mins. While quinoa is cooking, arrange spinach leaves, roasted tomatoes, and feta on a plate. Spoon on cooked quinoa (as much as you want). Drizzle with dressing.

Creamy and Low-Fat Chicken and Corn Chowder

Me loves me some creamy soups. Love em. Especially on a cold night. Nothing is more satisfying than a steaming bowl of chunky chowder with a big hunk of crusty bread to mop it up with. Problem is, chowder goes right to my ass. I might as well just paint the chowder right on my backside and leave it there. Turns out that chowder does not have to be all that bad for you. Here is a quick recipe that is so easy, low fat, and very satisfying.

Ingredients:

1 already cooked rotisery chicken from the market

1 bag of frozen corn (not creamed just plain sweet corn)

2 12 oz cans evaporated fat free milk

olive oil

1 large celery stalk, diced small

1 large carrot, diced small

1 yellow onion, diced small

2 cloves of garlic, minced

2 sprigs of fresh thyme

Chopped fresh chives (for garnish)

salt and pepper

Preparation:

In a stockpot, heat olive oil and saute onion, celery, and carrot until tender, about 5 minutes. Add garlic and saute for another minute. Meanwhile, take the breast meat off the chicken and dice up into small cubes. Do not use the skin, just the white meat. Back to the pot...when your veggies are done sauteing, dump in bag of corn, the evaporated milk, and the sprigs of thyme. Stir. Bring the soup to a mild boil and when the bubbles start to form, give it another stir, put the lid on, and gently simmer for about 20 minutes. Stir occasionally. After the 15th minute of cooking, add the diced chicken. Season with lots of kosher salt and some cracked pepper. Cook for the last 5 minutes. Bowl up and garnish with chopped chives. Enjoy with crusty bread and a big glass of wine - any will do.

Mmmmmmmeatballs

A wicked good first...not including a picture with the recipe. Here's why....meatballs are not attractive. They're just not. They are blobs of brown meat with sauce on them. While wholly unattractive, they are super yummy to eat. Especially on a cold Sunday night with friends. This recipe feeds a crowd of 8 with the meatballs being the main event.

Ingredients:

1 lb ground pork

1 lb ground veal

1 lb ground beef

1 cup grated parmesan

1/2 cup parsley, minced

1/2 large white onion, finely minced

1 tablespoon of garlic paste

2 eggs

1 1/2 cups whole wheat bread crumbs

2/3 cup skim milk

2 tablespoons kosher salt

4 cups of your favorite marinara sauce. I use Il Mulino or Raos

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large mixing bowl, crack both eggs. Add the garlic paste and with a whisk, mix both until the garlic paste is incorporated into the eggs. Add the milk and the bread crumbs and let the bread crumbs soak for a few minutes. Meanwhile, mince your onions and parsley. Add both to the bread crumb mixture. Add Parmesan cheese, salt, and finally the meat. With your hands, mix everything until it all comes together. Make sure the meat is really mixed well with the other ingredients BUT don't overmix. It's a fine line between a moist and a tough ball. Roll the balls into whatever size you like. Mine are larger than a golf ball but not as big as a whiffleball. Probably like 2 inches wide. Pour the sauce into a dutch oven or large cast pot and start layering the balls in. You will have 2 layers of balls probably. It's ok if the sauce doesn't cover all of the meatballs. Place the lid on the pot and cook in the oven for 75 minutes.

Fig, Gorgonzola, Carmelized Onion Tart

Totally ripped this recipe off from my favorite weekly read, the New York Times Dining In section. Wednesdays are my fave days b/c of this section. Lerv it. I tweaked the recipe slightly and used ready made frozen pastry dough. But yah, basically I ripped the whole thing off. But yum....so easy and great for a party.

Ingredients:
2 large white onions halved lengthwise and thinly sliced
1 sprig rosemary finely minced
Pinch sugar
1 teaspoon sherry vinegar
1/4 cup milk
1 egg
4 sheets of ready made puff pastry
1 pint fresh figs ( 3/4 pound), stemmed and slided lengthwise
1 1/2 ounces Stinky Cheese (Stilton, gorgonzola, or roquefort) crumbled
2 tablespoons pine nuts
good-quality honey for drizzling, optional. section. It's my bible. Lerv it. I tweaked it a bit but mostly I just ripped it right off. This could not have been easier with the help of ready made frozen pastry dough.

1. In a large skillet over low heat, melt butter with oil. Add onions, rosemary and sugar. Cook, tossing occasionally, until onions are limp and golden brown, 30 to 40 minutes. Stir in the vinegar, scraping any browned bits from bottom of pan.

2. In a small bowl, whisk together the milk and egg until smooth. Stir in the onions. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line an 11 by 17-inch baking sheet with parchment paper. On a lightly floured surface, line up sheets of pasty dough so they cover the whole pan. Press the edges of the dough together so it looks like one big sheet.

3. Use a fork to spread onion mixture evenly over pastry (let excess egg mixture drip back into bowl), leaving a 1-inch border. Arrange figs in even rows on onion mixture. Scatter cheese and pine nuts over figs. Use a pastry brush to dab edges of tart with egg mixture. Gently fold over edges of tart to form a lip and brush with more egg mixture.

4. Bake until pastry is puffed and golden, 25 to 30 minutes. Serve drizzled with honey, if desired, warm or at room temperature.

Yield: 8 servings.

Frozen Monkey Bars

Uuuu Aaaaa! These frozen treats will make you want to scratch yourself for joy. 5 minutes to make, healthy, and on a stick. What could be bad? I use mostly dark chocolate because it's better for you and I loves me some dark chocolate. But you can use whatever kind of chocolate you like. Except white chocolate because white chocolate is gross. You can also get crazy with toppings. I went for straight up walnuts but you can use toffy, almonds, sprinkles, whatevz.

Frozen Monkey Bars - makes 8

Ingredients:

4 large bananas

1 cup dark chocolate bits

1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate bits

1/2 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

8 popsicle sticks

Procedure:

1. Peel bananas and cut in half crosswise.

2. Insert the popsicle stick into the flat part of the

banana and shove up there about 3/4 the way to the top

3. In a microwave safe bowl, melt the chocolate together.

Takes about 1 min, 30 seconds to melt. Stir chocolate

4. Line a baking sheet with wax paper

5. Dunk banana pops in chocolate and coat all the way

around. A spatula helps spread the chocolate evenly.

6. Sprinkle with walnuts or toppings

7. Freeze for about 2 hours until the chocolate is hard

8. Eat and Enjoy

9. Wrap leftovers in wax paper and then in ziploc bag.

Store in freezer.

Rosh Hashana Morning Glory Muffins

I have said in the past that I am not a great baker. I like to improvise too much and as we all know, you can't improvise in baking because it's really a science where each ingredient effects the other in the oven. So, after many failed attempts at making baking a free form extravaganza, I decided to follow the directions for once. I have adapted a classic recipe for Morning Glory Muffins and added my own healthful twist on it: whole wheat, fresh carrot, fresh apple, honey, and dates. They came out moist, sweet, and delicious. My kids were fighting over them. L'Shanah Tovah, bitches!

Morning Glory Muffins - makes 18 large muffins

Ingredients:

2 cups whole wheat flour

2 cups raw grated carrot (about 3 peeled carrots)

1 large apple - peeled and grated

1/4 cup brown sugar

3/4 teaspoon baking soda

1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 cup coconut

1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

3 large eggs

3/4 cup canola oil

1 + 1/4 cups honey

1/2 cup chopped dates

1/2 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

Preparation:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

2. Using a grater or your food processor, finely

grate the carrots and apple and put them aside.

3. Chop dates and add to apple and carrot mixture.

4. Chop walnuts and add to carrot and apples and coconut

5. In a large bowl, whisk together the wet ingredients:

eggs, vanilla, honey, oil, and brown sugar.

6. In another large bowl, mix together dry ingredients:

flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon.

7. Fold the wet ingredients along with the carrot/apple

mixture into the dry ingredients. Do not over mix or the

batter will become tough. I found the easiest way to mix

everything was by hand.

8. Spray your muffin tins with Pam or line them with baking cups.

9. Fill the cups 2/3 way full. Bake for 20-22 minutes or

until a toothpick comes out dry.

Daily Recipe: Whole Wheat Fish n' Chips

I heart fish n'chips. Crunchy, oily fish doused with lemon and tartar sauce makes me feel so tingly all over. The thing is, when you go to a typical Cape Cod restaurant for fish n' chips, it's some "mystery" fish battered to death and then fried in lard of some sort. Not really that healthy and it leaves you feeling like crud. It turns out, making at-home FnChips is super easy, y'all. Here's how you do it:

Ingredients:

Any white flaky fish you like. (I used flounder cut crosswise into 1 inch strips. A thicker fish might work even better but my kids liked the thin kind)

whole wheat bread crumbs

whole wheat flower

canola oil

2 eggs, beaten

salt

Procedure:

Set up an assembly line just like you were making a veal parm or fried cutlet of any kind:

dish 1. Your fish cut into 1 inch strips

dish 2. 1 cup of whole wheat flower

dish 3. 2 beaten eggs

dish 4. 1 cup of whole wheat bread crumbs

OK, first take your fishy strips and coat both sides with the whole wheat flour. Then dredge in the beaten egg. Finally, coat with the whole wheat bread crumbs. Refrigerate the breaded fish for at least 30 minutes to get everything to bind which I think helped keep it all together when I went to fry it up. Now, take a frying pan and add about 1/4 inch of canola oil. Get the oil nice n' hot. Add your fishy sticks making sure not to crowd the pan. As Julia Child once said, "A crowded pan is a cold pan, girlfriend." You know your oil is hot enough when your fish starts to fry up nicely at first impact. Fry the fish for 1 minute per side. Transfer to a paper towel to drain off excess oil. Sprinkle immediately with salt. Serve with your favorite tartar sauce and a side of french fries. I must admit, I did not make the fries. Mr. Orieda took care of that for me. Don't judge....at least the fish was homemade!